Children
ChildrenYou can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. The whole story of raising a child is encapsulated in teaching them to ride a bike - the trick is knowing when to hang on and when to let go. Harry Truman said "I have found the best way to give advice to children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." Kids today have so many luxuries that the best way to punish them is to send them to your room. Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. 'Why is it raining?' Because God is crying. 'Why is he crying?' Probably because of something you did. Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. Do your kids a favor - don't have any. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller All babies should come into world with a Tshirt saying "I'm a little despot, short and stout". Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime.n There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes, they forgive them Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them. What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of. Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. I didn't want to be there at the birth. Why should my evening be ruined as well? It goes without saying that you should never have more children than car windows. Having a baby is like Janis Joplin suddenly came to live with you - JJ with PMS and a bad hangover. Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need baby sitters and too young to borrow the family car. Today's Parenting Tip: Treat a difficult child the way you would your boss at work. Praise his achievements, ignore his tantrums and resist the urge to sit him down and explain to him how his brain is not yet fully developed. Addams Family Values Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby! Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too. Wednesday: They had sex. Children are all foreigners. Ralph Waldo Emerson There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. (Ralph Waldo Emerson) You'll know they're growing up when they stop asking you where they came from, and refuse to tell you where they're going. My parents always accepted me for what I was - a punishment from God "Oh what a pretty little girl. Is her mother good-looking?" One of nice things about little kids is they don't tell you boring stories of things their parents said. Man with 5 kids is happier than man with 5 million - he doesn't want any more. God is kind - he gives us 12 years to develop a love of our kids before he turns them into teenagers He said he loved children - then I found out he was on parole because of it I want you to have my child - here he is Living with kids changes your attitude - at first I was optimistic but now I just settle for no bloodshed. The joy of motherhood - the feeling you get when kids are all in bed PCBC - parents could be cousins "I know what you and mum do when you've put me to bed" "..?.." "You eat all the cakes." Babysitter: "By the way I promised Amy that if she went to sleep without any fuss you'd buy her a pony in the morning. I'm afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments. Children are our future. Unless we stop them now. Duct tape: the babysitter's best friend |