One woman writer reckoned the toilet was candidate for 8th Wonder of the World because only known invention that lets a man do two things at once
Men were more likely to survive the 2004 tsunami in many places - largely because they were more likely to know how to swim in many cultures. Conversely, men are more likely to die in floods and storms. A study of U.S. thunderstorm-related deaths from 1994 to 2000 found that men were more than twice as likely to die than women. That is partly because men are less likely to evacuate early - and more likely to try to walk or drive through water.
Men's statistics are spread wider than women's: men are both taller and shorter; there are more male geniuses and more morons; men dominate the tops of professions, but they also dominate the numbers in prisons and homeless
Auckland Private Eye Julia Hartley Moore quoted in an article as saying she wanted a guy with the body of Keanu Reeves and mind of Billy Connolly (she later said she hadn't had a boyfriend for 5 years)
(The Shortest Fairytale) Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot. He drank beer, ate pizza, had several good looking girlfriends, and left the toilet seat up whenever he wanted.
Anecdotes about Men
Women say all men are the same, but they have no problem telling you how different you are from Mel Gibson.
Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish women are wise about men
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Quotes about Men
Three major genders - women, men and guys. To illustrate - looking at a beautiful pristine valley, a woman will contemplate the beauty of nature, a man will think how he could build a dam there, and a guy will be wondering how far he can piss off the dam.
Dave Barry's Guide To Guys
Lets' try another thought expt. This time its man vs woman in an ass-kissing contest. They walk into a large building which has a long long line of fat, middle-aged men bent over with their trousers dropped to the floor, presenting their rumps for kissing. The one who can get the furtherest down the line without throwing up will become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. At this point the woman will organize a committee to consider the correct form of protest at this blatant sexism, while the man is halfway down the line, kissing every cheek and slipping his business card into every crack. Years later a survey will show that all the CEO's of major companies are men, and the women will conclude that it is discrimination holding them back. Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel
To my amazement, most men who fell into the 'possible' category were married. Or gay. Or, in Sydney,both. Left in the 'available' category were the poor sods with zero social skills. l'd pity them but then l'd remember that they are the ones who buy young mail-order brides to get someone to love them the easy way. They're having sex. I have superb social skills and no sex. Who's laughing now?
Are We There Yet?
The best-loved men on today's TV include suburban mobsters (The Sopranos), compromised cops (The Shield), touchy drug dealers (The Wire), lying ad execs (Mad Men), outrageous brothel keepers (Deadwood) and even a relatable serial killer (Dexter). Not a nice guy in the bunch.
For men on the market, violence is an expensive and dangerous route to respect. It's only when other paths to status are blocked that they resort to aggression. Rich men, even ones with high testosterone levels, do not usually engage in fist fights. They can win more respect by making clever investments or perfecting their golf swing. And, men don't use violence to show off to women (they are more likely to behave better around them), they become aggressive when in company of other men. Sex, Murder and the Meaning of Life
Girls are much quirkier than boys ... most of us (boys) were defined only by the number and extent of our interests. Some boys had more records than others, and some knew more about football ... we had passions instead of personalities, predictable and uninteresting passions at that .. I have met women who knew quite a lot about music, but I have never met a woman with a huge and ever-expanding and neurotically alphabeticised record collection ... I am not saying that the anally retentive woman does not exist .... but when women have obsessions, they are usually about people. Fever Pitch
Interacting with an attractive woman significantly impairs men's cognitive functions. Test guys, then put them in a room with pretty girl to chat for few minutes, then test again their performance goes down the tubes. The reverse does not happen to women.
The Science of Love
"Do you have a life plan?"
"So how will your life sort itself out?"
- Oh that's easy. I'll be about 25 and some gorgeous-looking chick will walk past . She'll have a great plan and I'll just hook onto her.
He'll Be OK
For the first generation to mature when men greatly outnumber the women, surplus men simply marry younger women, so the problem doesn't really affect them. But the next generation is in trouble - they have to compete not only with their peers, but with older, richer men as well. So many men in the second generation never marry. They are stuck between rock (no available women) and a hard place (tradition dictates that they marry within their own society).
But the third generation, sees all their unmarried uncles, and realizes that they will have to break the rules if they don't want to remain single. They are the ones who go off to Vietnam, Philippines, Russia, Malaysia and even North Korea, to import brides.
But there simply are not enough women there to meet the demand. As of 2013, 1 in 10 Chinese lack a female counterpart. In 20- years, 1 in 5 men will be surplus. In just a few years, the number of surplus Chinese men in their 20's will outnumber the entire female population of Taiwan. The same situation will play out across Asia. In northwest India, 15-20 per cent of men will be surplus by 2020.
How To Talk To A Man:
1. They aren't mind readers - if you want something, ask for it.
2. If you have a problem, only confide in a man if you want a solution - men have evolved to solve problems.
3. Don't ask unanswerable Q's like "Is my bum big in this" bc you're just looking for a fight - you know there is no answer.
4. Avoid statements which have more than one interpretation. Just In Time To Be Too Late
The revolution feminists have been waiting for, she says, is happening now, before our very eyes. Men are losing their grip, patriarchy is crumbling and we are reaching "the end of 200,000 years of human history and the beginning of a new era" in which women - and womanly skills and traits - are on the rise. Women around the world, she reports, are increasingly dominant in work, education, households; even in love and marriage. The stubborn fact that in most countries women remain underrepresented in the higher precincts of power and still don't get equal pay for equal work seems to her a quaint holdover, "the last artifacts of a vanishing age rather than a permanent configuration."
And to whom do we owe this astonishing revolution? If there is a hero in Rosin's story, it is not women or men or progressive politics: it is the new service economy, which doesn't care about physical strength but instead apparently favors "social intelligence, open communication, the ability to sit still and focus" - things that "are, at a minimum, not predominantly the province of men" and "seem to come easily to women." And so, "for the first time in history, the global economy is becoming a place where women are finding more success than men." The End of Men
Book Extracts about Men
Songs about Men
Who is most desirable man?
Middle age crisis for men when they confront 3 basic questions:
1. are my kids unfathomable ingrates?
2. is the tedium of my life worth the paucity of it's rewards?
3. do I still to love my spouse?
Temporary solutions are sought in comb-overs, small cars with large engines, and large quantities of alcohol
Fight Club philosophy: Society has us working jobs we hate to buy shit we don't need for people we don't like. We've been raised by TV to believe that one day we'd be millionaires and rock stars, but we're slowly realizing that we won't ... and we're very very pissed off.
Nambucca Heads NSW had a problem - many retired men with very little to do. They'd left their home and their 'shed' to retire to small units. So the council built them a big shed - they could bring in all their tools and build things. Achieved immediate goal of giving men something to do, but then evolved - drop out kids started hanging around; informal mentoring morphed into a tech course at the local college, tapping into the skills of the old guys.
Jeremy Clarkson on short men:
It is quite correct to say that in evolutionary terms they are closer to the amoeba and that tall people sit at the prow of civilisation. But these thoughts don't occupy my mind all the time. I don't feel superior to a small person just because my head is nearer to incoming weather systems. But they definitely feel inferior. Which is why they are engaged in a constant and deeply irritating battle to prove themselves worthy.