WomenThe great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'SIGMUND FREUD
Helen Gurley Brown, editor of Cosmipolitan magazine: ďif youíre not having sex, youíre finished. It separates the girls from the old people.Ē
"Sigmund Freud once said, What do women want? The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that." Bill Cosby
The plainest man who pays attention to women, will sometimes succeed as well as the handsomest man who does not
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything. PARIS HILTON
The best judge of whether or not a country is going to develop is how it treats its women. If it's educating its girls, if women have equal rights, that country is going to move forward. But if women are oppressed and abused and illiterate, then they're going to fall behind. BARACK OBAMA
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. Dave Barry
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.
"Women. Can't live with them, pass the beer nuts." (Norm, Cheers)
Women can be aproblem, but it's the sort of problem I enjoy wrestling with.
I love women, but I couldn't eat a whole one. But I know where I'd start.
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of month I can be myself.(Roseanne)
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
Men get laid, but women get screwed. Quentin Crisp.
Like all young men, you greatly exaggerate the difference between one woman and another.(GBS)
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. W.C. Fields
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. Aristotle Onassis
If they can put a man on the Moon, why not all of them? (early feminist Tshirt)
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. Oscar Wilde
No woman will ever be satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that shoots out money.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart.
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty. James Thurber
What men desire is a virgin who is a whore
Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog.
If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.
A man chases a woman until she catches him.
There's no such thing as a good girl gone wrong. Just bad girls found out.
Beauty is the first present Nature gives to women, and the first it takes away.
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed
God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. (Oscar Wilde)
Women: Canít live with them, canít bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
A womanís mind is cleaner than a manís Ė thatís because she changes it more often.
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing
A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree." WC Fields
"Good girls are bad girls that never got caught."
To judge from the covers of countless women's magazines, the two topics most interesting to women are (1) Why men are all disgusting pigs, and (2) How to attract men.
"Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower."
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
Men have a quota of about 3000 words a day, and once they're said, that's it. A woman has up to 8000 she must get rid of, come what may.
"Surprise surprise it's an XX chromosome." (caption on a woman driver car accident)
So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute?
I like my women the way I like my coffee: full of whiskey
Women like a silent man - they think he's listening.
Women are like pigeons - shouldn't be looked up to.
She used to be Snow White but she drifted.
Beauty is only a lightswitch away.
She claimed to be a feminist but she was really just bad-tempered.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
A woman has a cleaner mind bc she changes it so often.
There are 2 ways to handle a woman and nobody knows either of them.
If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.
If a man does something silly, they say "Isn't he silly". If a woman does something silly, they say "Aren't women silly"