Health"Don't tell your friends about your indigestion. "How are you" is a greeting, not a question."
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
Dr are you sure this operation is essential? Absolutely - I've still got 3 more payments to make on my boat.
He's a dedicated surgeon - never operates unless he really, really needs the money.
Dr: What did you operate on Jones for?
Surgeon: One thousand dollars
Dr: No, what did he have?
Surgeon: One thosand dollars
Where shall I put my clothes dr? Over there on top of mine.
Trust me I'm a dr. Please disrobe.
A great dr. Once when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the xrays.
He was in hospital and had a chart at foot of bed listing all his complaints. All the nurses had written something.
Did a course in practical nursing - married a rich patient.
There's no fun in medicine but there's a lot of medicine in fun.
I wanted to be a doctor but on the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters "P N E I S" and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered "SPINE" are doctors today, while the rest of us are on imgur.
"I like colonic irrigation bc sometimes you find old jewellery." (Joan Rivers)
After two adys in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.