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Crime and Prisons

Crime and Prisons

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Crime and Prison

Never buy a portable tv from a man in the street who is out of breath.

Capital punishment is as fundamentally wrong as a cure for crime as charity is wrong as a cure for poverty. (Henry Ford)

In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. (Hunter S. Thompson)

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. (Will Rogers)

In a further bit of surreal incongruousness, the Department of Justice refers to criminal biker gangs as Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs, or OMGs.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. (Woody Allen)

American streets are perfectly safe. It's just the people who are dangerous.

You wanna get rid of drug crime in this country? Fine, let's just get rid of all the drug laws. (Ron Paul)

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor. (H. L. Mencken)

Rather leave the crime of the guilty unpunished than condemn the innocent. (Marcus Tullius Cicero)

“We know how to put people in prison. But we don’t know what to do with them afterwards.”

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong. (Bob Hope)

Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity. (H. P. Lovecraft )

Behind every great fortune lies a great crime. (Honore de Balzac)

Criminal - someone with predatory instincts but not enough capital to form corporation.

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets. (Jay Leno)

Addiction should never be treated as a crime. It has to be treated as a health problem. We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country. Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users. Ralph Nader

Violent crime is a solved problem - all they have to do is repeal the laws that keep those intelligent, capable, and responsible men and women from arming themselves, and violent crime evaporates like dry ice on a hot summer day.

So what really works? Treatments in jail do some good, but it's mostly too late: finding a family and a job or just growing older make most prisoners eventually give up crime.

Popular culture tells you that schools and parents don't know what's going on, the police are dogs, politicians are all liars and scum, and any crime that's not committed by the Mafia is done by the CIA.

The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people. (Noam Chomsky)

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. (Yakov Smirnoff)

"We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics. Alfred E. Newman

Lord Bird, founder of The Big Issue, spoke yesterday about the lessons he learnt from spending his teenage years in prison. “Someone asked me how I got into the House of Lords,” he said, “and I said, ‘By lying, cheating and stealing’.” Some might say that makes him no different from many politicians; he’s just honest about it.

AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. Ambrose Bierce

Family was in iron and steel. Mother ironed and father stole.

We find the gorgeous sexy young lady who stole the jewels not guilty.

The thief is sorry to be caught, not sorry about being a thief.

People are in favour of law and order as long as they are the ones laying down the law and giving the orders.

He went to prison for possession of a rubber band. It was wrapped around 5kg of finest horticultural produce.

He went to prison for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the handle.

He takes things easy. Particularly other people's things.

“Nothing to see here folks, move along. OH WAIT, there is something to see here, everyone gather around!” -Chief Wiggum