Behavior and CustomsKnowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.
Napoleon’s definition of a military genius was "the man who can do the average thing when everyone else around him is losing his mind."
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment. Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry. Mark Twain
I think we've got his problem nailed down - he's either taking too many pills or not enough.
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it. Mark Twain
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.Mark Twain
Anger is never without Reason, but seldom with a good One. Benjamin Franklin
A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge. Dave Barry
Cynicism is merely the art of seeing things as they are instead of as they ought to be.
A hypocrite is a person who - but who isn't?
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows nor judge all he sees. Benjamin Franklin
If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect. Benjamin Franklin
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Benjamin Franklin
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin
Take it from Richard, poor and lame, what's begun in anger ends in shame. Benjamin Franklin
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Douglas Adams
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself... Oscar Wilde in The Picture of Dorian Gray
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. Ralph Waldo Emerson
The average human being has one breats and one testicle.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Ralph Waldo Emerson
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.Ralph Waldo Emerson
The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. Ralph Waldo Emerson
This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. Ralph Waldo Emerson
We all boil at different degrees. Ralph Waldo Emerson
People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. W. Somerset Maugham
Tradition is a guide and not a jailer. W. Somerset Maugham
Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner. W. Somerset Maugham,
The nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
"You hammer like lightning" (Really?) "Yes. You never strike twice in same spot."
Yawn and the world yawns with you. Fart and you stand alone.
Friends: if you want to keep them, don't give them away.
Etiquette: what people do when others are watching
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
He was the sort of friend who was always there when he needs you.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
(Marge) You know Homer, it's very easy to criticize.
(Homer) And fun, too.
Rule: If there's a line, you get at the end of the line and you wait your turn. You own ONE place in the line. You do NOT have the right to invite friends to join you in the line.
Exception 1: You may invite an immediate family member such as your spouse or child to join you in the line. There are no other exceptions.
Exception 2: Halle Berry.
Rule: If you're in a supermarket checkout line, and you realize that you forgot an item, you're allowed to go get it, provided that (1) you apologize to the people behind you, (2) you know exactly where the item is and (3) you hurry. If you forgot TWO items, take your cart out of line. You are NOT allowed to leave your cart blocking the line while you wander the aisles trying to recall the ingredients for Beef Tongue Flambeau.
Rule: If you're in the express lane, and the sign says 10 ITEMS OR LESS, then you should have no more than ... Okay, we'll allow 12 items. We're not Nazis here.
Exception: Halle Berry can have as many items as she wants